novelburst
Chapter 350: 229: Perhaps... Youth is Over_2
Chapter 350: 229: Perhaps... Youth is Over_2
Chapter 350: Chapter 229: Perhaps… Youth is Over_2
“`
I had let go, but now, a hint of deep-seated resentment unavoidably rose within my heart. After all, it was… three years of my youth. To be honest, his few words were completely watertight, the epitome of a jerk.
“I saw the post you made, how should I put it?” Xu Qingyan set down his teacup, reflected for a moment, “Thank you for liking me, but we really are not from the same world.”
“To tell the truth, even being friends is me aiming too high.”
“How could that be?” Jiang Yunyao instinctively retorted, but then met his eyes, brimming with a teasing smile, and her voice faltered, “Saying that is a bit too much.”
“Just kidding, but it’s more or less the same idea.” Xu Qingyan glanced at her, sighed, “Back then, I was actually quite tired, my brain felt numb every day.”
“And with so much pressure, I really had no mind to think about romance.”
“To tell you the truth, you don’t understand me, having a momentary lustful thought is quite normal. If you truly understood me, you’d probably feel like killing me.”
Upon hearing this, Jiang Yunyao rolled her eyes in silence.
“You really know how to spout nonsense. You just refused me, that’s all.”
“It’s not that. You barely came of age and got a house, you have me all dizzy.” Xu Qingyan laughed while changing the subject, “Seriously though, little rich girl, you’re loaded.”
“If people in university knew how wealthy you are, the crowd chasing after you would break down the classroom door.”
Jiang Yunyao, wearing a speechless expression, propped up her cheeks and said.
“Without taking the initiative in university, how could there be any romance? Even if I were worth two hundred million, it doesn’t mean someone would chase after me. Everyone is in their own world, unrelated to each other.”
“In our class, you were the prettiest, and no one in the next class over looked better than you. I didn’t have many choices, did I? If all the handsome guys in the world threw olive branches at me…”
“Wrong, there’s nobody better-looking in the entire school than this buddy right here.” Xu Qingyan interjected shamelessly, and laughed.
“Whatever, you are truly shameless.” Jiang Yunyao was amused, laughing until her smile slowly turned down, “Do you know when I started to have feelings for you?”
When a secret crush can be openly spoken about as a joke, it means that the crush has already died.
“I don’t know.”
“It was shortly after school started, during the evening self-study, I went to the back to throw away trash. You were dozing off in the second-to-last row. I remember the classroom lights were very bright, and then you lifted your head and stared at me.”
“My mind went blank, I stood there for five or six seconds. The whole world froze, my heart skipped a beat, and after that, I started to think of ways to become friends with you.”
Xu Qingyan thought for a bit, “I don’t remember clearly, I was probably too tired then, confused from sleep.”
“I must have been blind to have a crush on you,” Jiang Yunyao gritted her teeth, then looked down, “I never thought that one day, I would say these things in front of you.”
“Maybe youth is over, don’t be nervous, this is what it’s like working as adults.” Jiang Yunyao’s nose tingled with sadness as Xu Qingyan spoke of youth’s end, and she almost cried.
Three to four years of youth, breezed over with a lighthearted joke.
She remembers trembling as she texted him during a heavy downpour, and many more little things. There was no dramatic plot, but it was nevertheless warm.
But Jiang Yunyao was also very clear, that it was she herself who fell in love, and also she herself who gave up first.
Her mother, upon learning about Xu Qingyan’s situation, strongly opposed and said “Like matches like; bamboo doors should match with bamboo,” believing that a huge gap will not lead to happiness.
I remember that evening, sitting on the sofa stubbornly as my mother lectured sternly.
“With such disparate family circumstances, it’s one thing to spend money to help, our family can afford it. But your values, let alone your perspectives on life and the world, are different.”
“You like him now when he’s poor, but are you sure he won’t change his heart once he has money? From ancient times, marriages were among equals; there are many who can’t understand their own place.”
“Have you considered, if you two lived together, would you reheat leftovers or just throw them away? Would you buy a luxury car or domestic, is consumption for practicality or happiness?”
“Moreover, he comes from a single-parent family. Have you thought about what you would do if he can’t empathize with your pain or meet your emotional needs after being together?”
“I’m not against you dating, but marriage is absolutely not okay. You’ve never suffered since you were a child, why trouble yourself by marrying into a family with a rural mother-in-law and a bunch of rural relatives?”
“You’re young and you don’t understand, love can easily be replaced. Once you’ve entered society, you’ll know, good-looking boys like him are a dime a dozen.”
That afternoon, my mother’s words wavered Jiang Yunyao’s resolve. She was infatuated but not foolish; she knew what she wanted.
She pondered for a long time, but indeed she wavered in that moment.
It was just that Xu Qingyan never gave her a chance anyway, it was never her turn to step back. In the end, she gave up willingly, but often couldn’t let go.
Sometimes, she regretted it. She wondered if he could see her hesitation, after all, she had never resisted her family.
Even though she was clear on these matters, Xu Qingyan could never know. But sometimes, she couldn’t help but think, how could she, who had been so adamant, have hesitated?
Perhaps in that moment, she also agreed with her mother’s words.
Suddenly, Jiang Yunyao felt some relief that Xu Qingyan hadn’t given her a chance.
At the very least, they could now sit together with dignity. They at least kept those warm memories without being torn apart by reality.
From the beginning, this relationship had never begun. What stopped her was not Xu Qingyan’s family background, but her own countless hesitations.
After entering society, it wasn’t like what my mother had said. There weren’t countless people who could replace him; all the ones easily found were flawed.
“`
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