The System Mistook Me for a Cat

Chapter 153

August in Qihe City wasn’t particularly hot.

Unlike players who had to travel long distances to attend offline events, local players in Qihe City were both suffering and enjoying themselves—happy because they could walk just five minutes to buy limited-edition collaboration merchandise, but frustrated because even though the ranch might be right across the street, they couldn’t snag tickets online.

Eight thousand tickets released in a single day, and you guys managed to grab them all! How?!

This was a question Chu Tingwu also wanted to ask. Since there was no large parking lot near the ranch, the number of self-driving tourists had exceeded their estimates. Thankfully, the system managed to coordinate everything, preventing any major traffic jams.

However, queuing to enter was unavoidable.

Using the Wu Voice Group app, users realized they not only had to use it to grab tickets but also to get a queue number for entry.

But that was fine—it saved time at the entrance. You just had to show up five minutes before your scheduled entry time.

As a local, Sheng Anli, Chu Tingwu’s cousin, had come to help out. Although the ranch didn’t have a high staff-to-visitor ratio, this was the first time it had opened to the public after renovations, so they had hired extra hands just in case.

Sheng Anli had been busy running around with lawyers recently and hadn’t had the chance to see the ranch’s transformation. She arrived earlier than the visitors, showing up at dawn, putting on her work uniform, and following a robot around for a tour.

“Wow!”

It felt like her old elementary school had been renovated—complete with air conditioning—but only after she had graduated.

The ranch’s layout hadn’t changed much, but as soon as she entered and put on the identification wristband, Sheng Anli saw two options appear on the screen: “Be accompanied by a cat” or “Be accompanied by a robot.”

Sheng Anli: The robot is cool and all, but I’ll take the cat!

[Identity verification complete. Hello, staff member #017. A suitable robot assistant has been assigned to you.]

Sheng Anli: “...You could’ve just said staff members don’t get cats. QAQ”

If a visitor had registered for the “Can’t Learn” game account, their own cat would appear. If not, a random cat would be assigned.

But for her, it was a robot assistant that looked like a trash can.

Almost all basic questions could be answered by the assistant, and Sheng Anli quickly realized that having a trash can—er, robot—by her side was actually pretty cool. Although it moved on wheels and preferred paved paths over grass, it wasn’t slow and could even chat with her.

Sheng Anli eyed its trash can lid, feeling a mischievous urge: “Can you double as a ride?”

[Please do not sit on my head. I will call the police!]

Sheng Anli: Hey, come on ==

The robot displayed a phone number for reporting emergencies, but Sheng Anli noticed it was the ranch’s control center. If she actually called it, a few seconds later—

“Xiao Sheng? We got an alert from your robot. Is everything okay over there?”

“Oh, haha, I was just testing it out, seeing how the robot reacts in different situations.”

“Alright, let us know if there’s anything you can’t handle.”

Sheng Anli: “...”

The robot: “...”

Sheng Anli: Somehow, I feel a little guilty.

The robot seemed completely unaware that the “perpetrator” it was “reporting” was standing right in front of it. After all, it was just a dumb AI.

So, Sheng Anli, how could you bully a robot like that? It’s your partner!

But the emergency alert… She glanced toward the control room. If something happened, like a dispute with a visitor or a violent incident, would calling for security even help in time? Could it notify nearby staff to assist immediately?

Other employees had been trained, but Sheng Anli had insisted on helping out as a temporary worker. Chu Tingwu had said the job wasn’t difficult and that the robot would assist, so she’d only skimmed the manual on the ride over.

She voiced her concerns to the robot.

The robot: “I can simulate it.”

Simulate subduing a troublemaker? Please don’t call the control center again…

As the robot counted down “three, two, one,” Sheng Anli’s eyes widened in shock.

The trash can, which had been rolling along and avoiding grass, suddenly performed a sharp maneuver, sliding behind her like a soccer tackle. In the next second, a wide strap shot out from its body, binding her tightly to the robot.

Is this a restraint belt for psychiatric patients?!

It was tight—impossible to break free—but not uncomfortable. Though sitting on the grass did hurt her butt a little.

A passing horse gave her a curious glance before trotting off with a sack of merchandise.

Sheng Anli: “==”

It was just a demonstration, so the robot quickly released her. The ranch was about to officially open.

She stood up, brushing herself off, and couldn’t help asking, “Do you have any other important functions?”

Was a guide robot’s main purpose really just to subdue unruly visitors?

The robot spun around, its pixelated eyes blinking on the screen. Then Sheng Anli noticed a glint in the grass—her bracelet!

The next second, the robot swallowed the bracelet, and a message appeared on the screen:

[Trash detected. Identified as lost property—Found 1 lost item.]

Sheng Anli: “...Give it back.”

[Please take the lost item to the lost and found office.]

Sheng Anli: “I’m sorry! I won’t call you a dumb AI anymore!”

[Please take the lost item to the lost and found office. The owner can reclaim it after completing the identification and photo process.]

After fiddling with her wristband for a while, Sheng Anli finally regained control and retrieved her bracelet.

—Otherwise, she’d definitely be teased by the lost and found staff!

-

Unlike Sheng Anli, Yan Ke, an ordinary resident of Qihe City and a veteran player of “Yuan Tang,” had managed to snag a spot in the first batch of visitors. She arrived carrying bubble tea and a toolkit, ready to cosplay as Yang Guifei from “Yuan Tang,” wearing the second skin, “Flying Apsaras.” She also planned to film her experience as a vlog to post online.

Her friend, who was holding the rest of the filming equipment, was dressed casually but was also a beta tester for “Can’t Learn” and looked just as excited.

Entry was fully automated, like buying a subway ticket. Visitors picked up wristbands that were dispensed by a machine. Since the wristbands were tied to game accounts, the system required real-name verification and facial scanning during check-in.

Yan Ke: “I was worried my makeup would be too heavy for the scan. Glad it worked!”

She definitely didn’t want to remove her makeup on the spot.

Friend: “Should we take photos first or buy merchandise? Oh, look at this flyer—there’s a pro-player fan match? You can sign up for it in the app. Want to try?”

Yan Ke almost blurted out “buy merchandise” but caught herself: “Where? Where?”

Because ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????they had a clear goal in mind, they didn’t notice the constant flickering on their wristbands.

The fan match naturally involved professional players from “Yuan Tang.” Like during the game’s anniversary events, selected players would team up with pros for a fun, casual competition. But Shanwan Ranch promised something special: the match would incorporate AR and VR technology, offering unique perspectives for both participants and spectators. Though Yan Ke’s friend wasn’t a hardcore gamer, the description piqued her interest.

They set aside their plans for merchandise and photos, following the directions on their screens to the match location.

“Wow…” Yan Ke murmured. “This looks just like the game map!”

Upon closer inspection, it was clear that the setup was merely an arrangement on the original grassland, with some temporary decorations added that wouldn’t affect the area below. The spot where they stood resembled a small slope, surrounded by earthen mounds that enclosed the grassland, with a gently sunken area in the middle and an artificial river channel running through it. As a seasoned player, Yan Ke could estimate the size of the map just by looking at the setup. She also guessed that the event would feature virtual projection-like battle scenes, and the audience could either stand or sit right where they were now to watch the competition. Who knows, maybe some lucky ones would even get selected to participate—she wondered how that would feel.

She turned her head.

Huh?

Where did her friend go?

They had set their own sightseeing car route and arrived in a small sightseeing vehicle. The advantage of these cars was that they required no effort to operate, but they couldn’t drive across the grass—only on designated paths, and they moved quite slowly. A collision between two of these cars probably wouldn’t even scratch the paint.

She found her friend crouching behind the car, looking excited as she squatted there, scanning the underside of the car with her phone.

Yan Ke: “?”

Friend: “Shh, don’t scare Dangdang away!”

Yan Ke: “??”

Dangdang was a cat—a cyber cat, one that ate cyber cat food. Yan Ke could only see it through her friend’s phone, but just then, they both heard a soft meow.

A long-haired Persian cat with rainbow-colored eyes—something that could never exist in real life—peeked out halfway from under the car, cautiously glancing at the two of them before retracting its head and sticking out a paw.

Her friend knelt on the ground, reaching out to tentatively touch the air above the paw. The cat’s paw lifted slightly, and the kitten meowed again before rolling out from under the car like a ball. A speech bubble appeared above its head:

[Does Mama not want Dangdang anymore? Meow?]

Friend: “How could I ever not want you!”

She finally realized what was going on! She also noticed that her wristband had stopped glowing. The flashing light seemed like a request from the cat to go out, and if players ignored it for too long, their kittens would start feeling confused and anxious.

Of course… different cats have different personalities. A cat like Three-Five-Five might just jump out and give its owner a slap.

Yan Ke stood to the side, holding her skirt, watching her friend sweetly coax the cat. It took a while before the kitten was willing to come over and rub against her leg. Then, the two of them—human and cat—started discussing where to go next. With a physical cat as a guide, they didn’t even need to look at the app’s descriptions… Upon closer inspection, it seemed like every other visitor had a cat accompanying them.

But aren’t you forgetting something?

Yan Ke: Traitor! Abandoning your friend for a cat!

Friend: “Oh, come on, Ke Ke, let’s go over there! We can even buy the merchandise you wanted!”

Yan Ke: You’re just being lured into spending money by the kitten, aren’t you?

Friend: “Oh, and check your wristband here—press it! You’ll probably get a random kitten assigned to you. Think of it as visiting a cyber cat café.”

Yan Ke: Hmph, I’m not going to spend money on a cyber cat.

Five minutes later.

Yan Ke: “Do I really have to do puzzles to get cat food? Can’t I just pay for it? Give me some trading points, quick!”